The risks, difficulties & benefits of opening up about self harm
Put together by group members
(in no specific order)
Put together by group members
(in no specific order)
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It's easier to open up in certain environments. For example, opening up about our self harm in the safety of the Battle Scars group is a lot easier and there are no risks, while opening up about it at work could create a lot of problems. We always advise to open up to people you trust and if you're worried they might be too shocked, 'drip-feed' them what you'd like to say and give them time to digest the information. Keep the conversation channels open.
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NEGATIVES/RISKS/DIFFICULTIES
Issues dealing with social stigma. Possible reactions may include shock, disgust, disbelief. I may be judged. May get bullied. May lose existing friends. What will people think? People might change their opinion of me. May increase social isolation. I may be treated differently than before. May cause problems at work. The wrong person finds out ("tell tale"). May cause problems within the family. It can cause distress in others. They may feel guilty for not supporting me enough or thinking they've caused this. It could be too much for someone. I may be misunderstood. I'll be isolated even more. May get various reactions from professionals (from good to bad based on their knowledge and beliefs). Sometimes others knowing may lead to further self harm. I had bad previous experience. I don't want to burden someone with my problems. It will make it real and I'll have to acknowledge how bad things are. I'll be embarrassed. I'll be judged. My child will be taken away from me. Those around me will be disappointed. I'll make them feel inadequate thinking they cannot support me enough. I'll be sectioned. 
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POSITIVES/BENEFITS
Talking about self harm can address stigma. It brings it out in the open and it becomes easier to talk about it. Possible reactions may include acceptance, sympathy, understanding. I know who my real friends are now. May gain support. Possibility to make new friends based on honesty. Honesty often gains support. We are not responsible for what others think. I am learning to be honest with myself and others. People think I'm brave for opening up about something as painful. May gain the respect of others. I can be myself for the first time. The right person may be told gaining more support. May mention to someone who also secretly struggles with self harm (forming unsuspecting connections with others). No longer need to lie. We can relax around the people who know. We may create a support network. We can talk about what really matters and get rid of all guilt. Opening up gradually gives me a chance to find the right words. I can find acceptance and real understanding. I don't have to do this alone. I am not alone. May gain us a sympathetic, supporting ear. It opens doors to help others. I will learn to be selective about who I talk to and which aspects I discuss. The person I open up to may feel honoured and closer to me. I can see the extent of the problem but now I can make progress. I can raise awareness. Relief. Release. A weight off my shoulders I may get more help. Relationships can improve based on honesty and trust. It can bring people together. I can get my meds reviewed. I will pick who I open up to carefully. I will find out that others self-harm too. I'm not alone. |
Opening up about self harm carries certain risks. It may cause us difficulties. But ultimately the benefits outweigh them and can help us move forward and acquire a support network.
