|
My Journey with Battle Scars
I had struggled with my mental health on and off for years but always tried to hide it, I became particularly unwell and returned to self-harm as a way to manage my emotions. I was very much on the edge. I was given a diagnosis so trying to learn more I searched Facebook for groups where others who shared my diagnosis shared their experience, but something was missing. My self-harm was getting completely out of control so one day I decided to search self-harm to see if there were any services out there to help me better understand what I was doing, and to feel less alone with this. That’s when I came across Battle Scars.
|
I had been trying to reach out to mainstream charities for support but often found that I was considered to “high risk” and most refused to engage with me. I was stuck in a paradox of my mental health being too bad to be able to access any support and with long NHS waiting lists I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through this time. However, when I saw the offer of virtual meetings with Battle Scars, I had nothing to lose so signed up. I was so nervous but being able to join from the safety of my home and not having to have my camera on or speak made this so much easier for me. It wasn’t long before I started to gain a better understanding of my self-harm. I felt so welcomed into the Battle Scars community and found others who were experiencing similar things to myself, for the first time in my life I found a space where I didn’t feel judged for my self-harm.
|
By this point I had been off work sick for 6 months and in no fit state to return I had to make the difficult decision to leave my job.
|
By this point I had been off work sick for 6 months and in no fit state to return I had to make the difficult decision to leave my job. This just left me feeling even more of a burden to society and my mental health spiralled even more. That’s when there was a call out in the group for volunteers, I was becoming so passionate about Battle Scars as they seemed to be the only people in the whole world who wanted to help me, so I put myself forward. There was a lot of fear in volunteering for Battle Scars, what if I couldn’t cope? But this job was different from any other I had experienced in the past where I came first, not targets, or needs of the business, but me and how I was doing. This enabled me to go from strength to strength and I slowly found some confidence which I had struggled with my entire life. I started to be an ambassador for Battle Scars. Being from Bournemouth, miles away from Leeds and the centre of the Battle Scars world, I wanted to make sure as many people knew that they existed. I took so much pride when the crisis café told me they had heard of them, knowing that was because I had promoted the service to them. I started to feel useful again and my mental health was slowly improving. I was even invited to Leeds to meet with everyone and attend some face-to-face training. This was a real push for me having suffered so badly with agoraphobia as part of my difficulties, but I wanted to meet the people who I now held in such high regard, and I went. I had some terrible news that day and the support I was given was amazing, including lots of follow up checks on me until I was safely home.
|
My experience working for Battle Scars was not all sunshine and roses, I’d had some difficult situations to deal with including having to help someone by calling an ambulance but the continued support and recognition I was given was amazing and I really felt like I was able to make a small difference to the lives of others who were going through what I had been through.
My work was further recognised when I was asked to be a volunteer leader. I felt so proud of myself in that moment, all my passion and hard work was seen.
My work was further recognised when I was asked to be a volunteer leader. I felt so proud of myself in that moment, all my passion and hard work was seen. I had never had that before in other jobs and again this boosted my confidence. I now support new volunteers when they start working for Battle Scars to make sure they are as well supported as I was when I first joined. Again, I felt very nervous taking on this responsibility but again have been so well supported in this new role and this is making me feel like I can make a real difference in the world even through all my difficulties. Battle Scars has not only saved my life but has enriched it.
|